Sunday, May 12, 2013
There seems to be a clear lesson to learn this year about life and death. I often shrug off the positive cliches about life. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Blah, blah, blah. And I never focus on applying those words to my life.
More and more I'm reflecting on the idea of taking life for granted and that it could end at any time. All it takes is one moment, one accident, one mistake, one situation of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. A blink of an eye.
Yet we walk around feeling invincible. As if it's impossible to experience tragedies and horror stories of which we see on the news. The shooting at my office building this year made me realize that those moments can happen to anyone. Me. The people I care about. So why do I still walk around taking time and people for granted?
We have it in our minds that there's always tomorrow. So we put things off. We procrastinate. Mark Twain said, "Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well." But the truth is all we have is this moment and the opportunity to make the most of it. We can't visit the past. We can't visit the future.
Two weeks ago I made the mistake of not eating enough throughout the day. By seven o'clock at night, I had consumed a banana and a scone before I walked around the track at my old high school. After walking two miles in 100-degree weather, I passed out and hit my head on the cement. The result was a concussion, but it easily could have been worse. You hear about those fluke accidents all the time.
Now I know all this sounds morbid. Depressing. But it's something that's been on my mind. It's reality. And with so many of the circumstances surrounding this year, it's hard to avoid it. Last week I learned that my boyfriend's neighbor died over the weekend. He didn't have a good relationship with his family and my boyfriend said he seemed to have had a difficult life.
I can't help but wonder what I'd think if I knew it was coming. Would I forgive those who've hurt me? Would I get right with God and my relationships and stop taking people for granted? Would I take more chances? Would I worry less about things that don't really matter? Would I look back on my life and think I'd made the most of every moment?
But the real question is: Why am I not doing all those things now?
I don't dwell on death. Honest. I don't fear it. But more and more I'm fearing a life not lived. And this post is me saying-- wake up. Reality check. Tomorrow isn't a guarantee. So stop living like there's a tomorrow and make the most of now.
★ Dreamt at 4:56 PM