Thursday, June 24, 2010

as my thoughts become released in a jumbled mess...

One year ago, outside my window in Dublin

I’m still a child at heart. I like it that way. I still grin from ear to ear while watching Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid. I grew up wanting to be an archeologist. As a teenager I wanted to write for a magazine. Maybe a Christian magazine, for young girls where I could write words to inspire. Just to let them know that it’s going to be okay, that they are not alone in whatever they are feeling or going through. To spread the message of hope and love. I like being a friend. I believe that love is the most powerful thing. That’s why we’re told to guard our hearts. It’s the reason a broken heart is such a tragic thing. The greatest gift someone can give is to just be there, with their full heart. I don’t particularly know why I’m rambling like this, but there it is. And it doesn’t really matter if it all makes sense. At least not now. Not in moments like this where it’s just me, myself and I typing on the computer. This is what I’ve always done. For as long as I can remember. I’m a thinker, if nothing else. Always having the desire to get the most random, little details of thought and life down on paper- or Word document. I used to think it’d be so neat if our minds were some sort of typewriter, where like magic we could think something and it would appear on paper. I don’t know how any such thing is possible. I suppose that is what I mean by magic. My thinking can be silly.

It’s funny how our minds can jump from one thought to the next. I’m thinking about the pretty sound of violins, how much I love driving at night listening to music on full blast. Or how lovely it would be to wear a summer dress while hunting for lightning bugs at night, using a Mason jar as if it were a net. I'm often jumping from one thing to the next. I start on a subject and end it on something different entirely.

Life is a delicate, pretty thing. We’re often so wrapped up in our fears, insecurities and life’s current struggle. Too often I think about this life and forget about the other people who are living it in foreign lands. Lands with famine and war and similar things. I often wonder why I’ve been so blessed. How easy would it have been to be born in a country where women have no rights, where children go to bed hungry. I often think about such things, wrestling with where I fit into it all. But thankful that I do fit somewhere. I do.

It’s one of those nights where I’m assured, where I’m content. It’s one of those nights where I’m just thinking to myself and letting my mind wander. Perhaps I'll wake up tomorrow and wonder why I bothered posting this, when usually I save such things tucked away in a file on my computer titled Thoughts.

I guess the point was to just say, short and simple: We’re all going to be okay. & If I could, I would sit down with each and every one of you at Starbucks, sipping on coffee and rambling with one another about random things. ★


  1. i'm glad you took the time to post this. This is a very precious post and it really helped me now. You know my situation, but as you, i often think i'm blessed to live where live and i wonder a lot. do i deserve this? The bad things and the good ones. And life goes by, too quickly..
    Thank you for your words, you are a very special and precious girl and i'm thankful to read your thoughts*

  2. So inspirational! Gorgeous picture.

  3. beautiful writing, I love the layout of your blog, shall certainly be checking back! you have beautiful hair :)

    follow for follow?


  4. This post was lovely. I think you're right - the best thing in the whole world is to be selfless. There's a david foster wallace quote that I love which talks about how real freedom involves sacrificing yourself for others days after day after day.
    I need to write things down, too :)

  5. Beautiful post.

    I too wanted to be an archaeologist :)
    I want people to be there too, but I'm rather drawn into my own world. I prefer my family to friends, quite to loud. I dunno I feel like if I live in my own world than I can capture the magic, otherwise it's just the plain world that I see.

  6. This post made me feel all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings inside (: Thank you for sharing your wonderful wisdom about life with us once again. I hope that I can stay a child at heart with you for the rest of my life.

  7. Disney movies are magic, as are you.
    I love this; it's so honest and beautiful.

  8. I absolutely love the Beauty and the Beast. It's my favorite Disney movie. And hey, know that you're not alone. I keep reminding myself to guard my heart but time and time again, I find myself getting hurt and I get all frustrated for not guarding it well enough.

    I think a lot too. And most of the time, they make no sense and are absolutely and purely silly. :)

    Chin up, love. You're not alone. xx

  9. "Life is a delicate, pretty thing."

    I love this line.

  10. You have such a genuine and caring soul, it's refreshing.

  11. Krissie,

    I love how you write. You can reach so many people this way, and people enjoy it. Love the gift that God has given you, its very inspiring!!!

  12. Ahh, I watched both those disney classics last month. Beauty & the Beast isn't my favorite Disney movie, but I still think it's one of their best and a masterpiece of film.

  13. beautiful words. ever since i was in the single digits, i used to lament the fact that i couldn't possibly ever get my thoughts onto paper as quick as they were pilling out of my mind. it's probably the biggest detriment to my writing, so the typewriter brain you describe is actually exactly what i have been dreaming of almost my whole life.

  14. the little mermaid and archaeologist dreams- that is still me ahaha! You write wonderfully, it's magic...

  15. Krissie,
    Wow, girl, that was some post! A hundred emotions churn through my body as I process what I've just read. Talk about creating awareness. Thank you for reminding us that life is too precious to be taken granted and unfortunately, the comforable lives we lead is not the case for millions of others. I will come back and visit your blog.


  16. Aw, thank you for sitting down and writing out your thoughts! This is so beautiful, and I adore how rambley and "real" you are here, with your mind just sort of hanging out here for everyone to see :)


Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Please visit again. ★